failure ( of justice ???... may be ) at last...

how does it feel when you loose...

how about this... when you are much closer to success ( may be a step away from it.. )

is it annoying ?? nopes !! for me its devastating, i don't feel bad i feel worst...

frankly speaking i am almost all the time always up to something or the other until i know its going to help me in some way or another... one such thing is that i spend most of my free time ( apart from my hobbies which many people find wierd !! ) in front tv... lol but the only difference is that i watch only discovery or natgeo - love them... ( i feel rest all on tv are bull.... )

yesterday i got up at 8 pretty early for me :) and started working... worked till 1 pm. ultimately the pcb sketch for my new project was ready :)... i was happy that i saved few days of soldering :) then i realized the board was not proper i had to delete the .brd file and make again from the base .sch file. i deleted it... but to my horror i deleted he .sch file... all my work was gone :(

DEVASTATED...

oh... ya back to tv... so yesterday after this happened to me i was thinking about all such things happened to me... lots of them in my life... so was kind of habitual of this... then i went to see tv

there is this new series started at nat geo - 'jailed abroad', i dint know somehow i just love the show... one of the best i have ever seen... any way so this episode was about the girl lia mccord and according to nat geo -

"Eighteen year old Lia McCord wanted to go to college but her parents couldn't afford the Fees. The A grade students solution to the problem was simple, if a little naïve…become a heroin smuggler. But her naïve plans went horribly wrong and she faced the death penalty in a squalid prison in Bangladesh."

now apart from the fact that they had a really very cute and sexy actor ( Marya Leal )

try this......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcIkRq6pm4Y

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVi1Y92Z0Ds&feature=related )

for the girl here this story really had some power...

lets see... this girl was in need, had financial problems and all sorts of depressing issues with her, she was 18 and seriously speaking at this age all sorts of mental problems arise to most of us ( some for good an some for no reason ) and under such circumstances she decides to take a step for her future. believe me i can feel how bad it feels when you are capable of something but cannot do it just because of some fuckin financial problem ( she was straight A's ) or stuff...

so there she was,did what she felt was appropriate at that time

so lia went to this place to get heroin in the states... but later she realized that this was not good for her and tried to escape twice or thrice but she couldn't and was ultimately forced to do the smuggling... there was this instant when she bypassed the security check and was almost out of it and was straight going to the aircraft at the airport just when a lady officer came out and asked her to come back for security check. if the lady officer was few seconds late lia might have escaped, so from a few seconds difference and a step away from success she ended up into the cops hands... and after my incident i can very well feel how she felt! ... well a must watch series (episode) for all... practically u really get the feel of situation by watching it... :)

well... whatever be the reason she had done something wrong and she deserved punishment...

but here comes the nightmare, the worst possible, a 'death penalty' !!! yes there in bangladesh u get this for smuggling drugs... well she was lucky she narrowly escaped it and got an imprisonment for 40 years... and more lucky she was that she was out of prison in 4 years 6 months... ok some congressman rescued her... :)

but after watching this another question was raised in my mind... if somebody does this in bangladesh - 'capital punishment' and in US it is something like 5 years of prison and some fine...

does this mean that if somebody does some act like this in bangladesh than (s)he has committed a bigger crime than does the same thing in the states ( and how about the places where capital punishment is abolished ) ?????

does it mean ( crime committed IN bangladesh/iran..etc ) >>> ( crime committed IN norway/south africa/ italy ) for the same act of crime ????

i really didn't get much of it... but frankly speaking i feel something wrong,

either she was punished more than she deserved or the other people in the world are being punished less than they deserve. if its justice then why is it not same on whole earth ???

is justice bound by the boundaries of countries ???

sad i am still not at a conclusion to this question of my mind... hope to get it soon till then it will always remain in my mind !!

practically its not cheating...

day before i was just sitting in my room implementing a project on some accelerometer gyroscope sync and stuff...( 4get it might be too technical just some robotics project :) )

and as usual i got stuck somewhere... sad :(

u know what i feel is that its a human tendency that when (s)he gets stuck in something (s)he either (1) starts hating it to maximum extent or (2) gets more excited to get out of the situation...

speaking truth i have been the victim of both... mostly (2). but yesterday somehow situation (1) took over my brain and as usual after a little thought over my project my thoughts started wondering all over the universe ... from the death of michael ... girls ... to british army ... girls ... bill gates ... girls ... steve jobs... i don't know somehow i think about these 2 guys and a word something like success or crap flashes to my mind ( weird !!! ) ... and this ultimately leads to my future thoughts... may be i would love to do an mba from hbs or kellog or some place... then some lot of hard work and stuff... but more importantly this follows with a thought in my brain so entangled in itself and my brain that the more i think the more confuse i become lets see it...

i will put down some of few very important situations in my life which i think i will never forget and then lets see if i come up to some solution...

NOTE : every incident is REAL from my life and there is no work of fiction. and one more thing in any situation i might refer to a person ( REAL ) lets call him(her) 'x' i don't want a bunch of people coming and beating me if they so happen to read this :) ...

situation 1

scenario :

class 9th maths 2nd term answer sheets distribution.

into it :

mam called out my name. i went there took my paper came back... as usual i got some 96% crap... me happy... mom and dad happy... teacher happy hard work worked.

'x' mam called out. x happened to be a very nice friend of mine but not so good at mathematics actually speaking at any subject. came back sat beside me. "shit i got 53 u got a red pen ?? " x asked me. " nopes " i said. well let me tell you this friend of mine 'x' is a very determined person got up and came back a few minutes later with a red pen. " here it is two c's and my 53 turns into 58... :) :) :) " - this was his face... still not satisfied.

"boss ... my totaling is 68 not 58, i'll say mam she'll ask u to verify because you are sitting beside me you got high marks you are her favourite... oh forget you just ask her to verify my paper as soon as i ask her for my total mistake when she comes here. just do it or i might have to repeat the class. " me... surprised... plan successful... his answer sheet in my hands. i didnt know what to do, shall i break the trust of my teacher or shall i be responsible for one year of my friend 'x'... both options were unfair to me. ultimately my friend won. " mam a totaling mistake in his paper one 6 marks and one 4 marks questions not added "... she came to my seat smiled at me and wrote 68 on his paper... now all happy. i couldnt sleep that night.

situation 2

scenario :

just before the start of our chemistry 12th board practical examination.

into it :

" you did everything ?? " ... x

" yes you ?? " ... me

" yeah "

" so where are you hiding it ?? "... x

" in my pocket :) "... i said nervously

" so am i " ... x proud of himself

"y" enters into the situation

" you both got it ?? "... y

"yeah" ... me

" you'll be using it ?? "

" definitely.... :) " ... x

" dont do it its not right "... y

" fuck you " ... me

ok "it" here refers to a very famous object used in examinations to save oneself from the failure and come out happily from the examination hall if used properly or the consequences can be extremely dangerous. yes you got me right... a piece of paper with all the info. of the world written on it to help yourself that day ( as said very well" God helps those who help themselves " )... we made our own chits :):)

the exam went by and we used our object as efficiently as possible again... :) :) :)

result came by...

me and "x" got full

"y" lost some 2 or 3 marks

(s)he was still happy...

even i was very happy

i slept very well that night ... finally !!!! :):)

situation 3

scenario :

me into aieee examination hall... nervous

into it :

" hey " said x sitting beside me

" hi "... was not in a mood to talk to him

" how r u ? "

i didnt reply

" listen i am sitting in here but i know least i know cant get through this it seems you have studied a lot can you show me ???? "

what a freak i thought its a national level examination nt kiddin if something happens we both screw our carriers before it starts. i knew what he wanted still i asked " what do you want to see?"

"the answers, you just write normally and dont intentionally hide it dont see towards me behave i am not there dont worry nothing is going to happen i was in this school only ( the center ) our invigilator today is an idiot i know her well i use to eat my lunch in her class she never caught anybody too lenient. "

"ok but dont disturb me at all "

"you wont even know that i am seeing " :) - his face

exam started after every answer i ticked he turned few pages of his paper and ticked something.

after the exam was over

" hey how many answers are you sure you have answered correctly ??? " ... x

" almost all which i attempted "

" if you are correct you made my future thanks a lot "

" what ?? how many did you copy ? "

" almost all except a few "

" great i though i must leave " i said

on the result day i got some very high rank in the state :) - this was me. i could get any branch in most of the nits... which reminded me of 'x' i calculated his roll no. from the sitting arrangement and if i was not mistaken even he managed to get a very high rank a little lower than me enough to get any major in the state ... i was shocked... did i make one more life or broke one.

his last words i heard were " thanks, i'll never forget you " - so would i

i couldnt sleep that night.

i still have lots of situations that cant be written at once may be you might see them in some other topics... but in majority of the situations i had won very well still i couldn't sleep the corresponding night. had i really won or lost ???

well... in majority of the situations i might reply something like " this guy(gal) will not succeed later in life even if (s)he succeeds now, what i have done is correct and what (s)he did was something called unfair and will have to pay eventually for it" does this always really happen ??? i rather feel it to be a sentence from my mind covering up my inability to take advantage of such a situation and make it more successful... a sentence to hide my guilt my incompetence...

and let me state one more thing here... every "x" above is doing quiet well in his(her) field irrespective of whatever (s)he did in the past. nobody is paying anything for any act as i might say.

hmm... i dont know what to say to all this. is it really unfair ??

well.. after thinking a bit i came up with something which can hide the unfair part of these situations...

in a more sophisticated way these can be called as being PRACTICAL.

in every situation above a truthful approach might have resulted in not a very good consequences and other approach did such an approach can not be named good certainly.

the essence of this word is that as soon as this comes it hides all the things which make the situation unacceptable by majority of us however wrong they are

and now being practical if any of my friend recognizes 'x' dont write it in any comment or anywhere keep it with you... lets enjoy the flavor of secrets .... :)

the innovation

Mr Jobs ( APPLE ) is genius

- he makes the same products as others no new invention ( laptops, mp3 players ... )

- his products prices are high ( huh.. )

- assessors to his products are exclusive ( u have only got apple store or reseller )

- makes a very high margin on each product...

- stores are limited !!!

still he has something which other tech. companies don't

- one of the highest consumer satisfaction

- strongest brand in the market ( http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/03/31/brand_poll/ )

- highly loyal costumers

is he a magician or what...??

well...

lets see with is usual products..

- IPOD

the best multimedia device

fast responding

huge memory

ease of use

high battery life

- IPHONE

best smart phone in the market (http://mobchina.blogspot.com/2007/12/iphone-best-smartphone-in-us-according.html)

ease of use

fast responding

- NOTEBOOKS

true multitasking

rarely hang ( awesome )

ease of use

superb screens...

the list is end less

well i am not a business expert still i somehow feel to know why his products are outstanding in the competitive market despite of the major cons...

the real thing is that this person loves what he does...

he doesn't work merely for working he likes it :)

and thus his love made him an expert in his work

he innovates ( or so does his employes ) if you closely watch his products they are totally different from the rest each and every part of them is different from the rest carefully carved

so this here brings me to a conclusion " it is not possible to achieve the ultimate goal until and unless i love what i do" !!!

and infinitely more important " if i do something i dont love i am certainly wasting 100% of my time ! "

why this ???

so why this ???

another blog ( well first one for me !!! )

well... its all about expressions.... :)

it gives one freedom a chance to discuss the most detailed in his mind...

i am not an expert at english. ( i dont even follow the rules and the spellinsg !! ) but language does not matter here. what matters are ideas.

well its all about my observations to some very normal things of life, and few very abnormal conclusions to them which might not back-conclude them !!!

so if you can manage with them do read them and comment i love discussions as heavily as possible !!!!